Prostate massage: here's how to do it step by step

A prostate massage sounds more daunting to many men than it actually is. With some explanation, plenty of lubricant, and a gentle pace, it is one of the most relaxing ways to get to know your body better. In this guide, you will learn where the prostate is located, how to prepare, and how to get started step-by-step, alone or with your partner.

What is a prostate massage?

During a prostate massage, you stimulate the prostate with gentle pressure through the anus. The prostate is a gland the size of a walnut and is full of sensitive nerve endings. That is why it is also called the male G-spot or P-spot. Many men experience the stimulation as deeper and fuller than penile stimulation alone.

Where exactly is the prostate located?

The prostate is located approximately 5 to 7 centimeters inside the rectum, at the front: the side of your abdomen and navel. You feel it as a round, slightly firmer bump that feels different from the surrounding soft tissue. From the outside, you can also reach it indirectly via the perineum, the piece of skin between the scrotum and the anus.

Is a prostate massage safe?

For healthy men, yes, if you work gently and use enough lubricant. Stop immediately if you experience pain. If you have hemorrhoids, an anal fissure, or prostate problems, consult your GP first. Many claims are made about the health benefits of prostate massage, but the evidence is limited: do it primarily because it feels good.

Preparation: how to start relaxed

• Go to the toilet beforehand and take a shower, then you will feel more at ease.
• Trim and file your nails short, or use a glove.
• Have a towel ready and choose a moment when you won't be disturbed.
• Use generously water based lubricant. The anus does not produce its own moisture, so lubricant is really necessary.

Prostate massage step by step

1. Relax first. Lie on your back with your knees drawn up, or on your side. Breathe out slowly a few times.
2. Start on the outside. Massage the perineum with your fingertips. This allows your body to get used to the touch.
3. Slowly insert a finger. Apply lubricant to your finger and to the anus. Exhale as you slowly insert your finger, and wait a moment until the muscles relax.
4. Find the prostate. Bend your finger towards your belly, about 5 to 7 centimeters inward. Do you feel a round, firmer bump? Then you're on the right track.
5. Massage gently. Make a gentle “come here” movement or small circles. Gentle, even pressure works better than pressing hard.
6. Build up gradually. Vary the tempo and pressure, and combine it with penile stimulation if desired. There is no goal you have to reach.

Prostate massage with a toy

A toy with a curved shape automatically hits the prostate in the right spot, without you having to hold your fingers or wrist at an awkward angle.

• For your first time: the Prostate Stimulator It is not electric and works purely with targeted pressure. Compact (9.5 cm insertion length), quiet, and made of skin-friendly silicone.
• Do you want more variety: the Prostate Vibrator It has 11 vibration modes, a remote control with a 12-meter range, and is 100% waterproof. Great if you want to give your partner control.

Always use water-based lubricant with silicone toys. Silicone lubricant can damage the material.

What is prostate milking?

Prostate milking is another name for a longer, gentle prostate massage during which prostatic fluid is released, often without a regular orgasm. Some men actually find it relaxing because a climax is not required. The technique is the same as described above: gentle, even pressure and a lot of patience.

Prostate massage for your partner

Do you want to give your partner a prostate massage? Discuss it outside the bedroom first and agree on a safe word. During the massage, regularly ask how it feels and let your partner set the pace. For many couples, it becomes a familiar part of foreplay this way, just like masturbate together.

Frequently asked questions about prostate massage